It's my dad's fault, Your Honor.

It's my dad's fault, Your Honor. Category: Life My last couple blogs have been rather deep, so I thought I might turn to the lighter side and share a pointless example of poor parenting. These are not hard to come by. One of my kids (those of you who know them can guess which one) asked me the other day if I know what their favorite color and animal was. These things tend to change often, so of course, I guessed both wrong. "No, Dad! Do you want to hear what my schedule is?" "Your schedule?" I replied. "Okay." "This year it's elephants and green. Next year it's rhinos and red, and the next year it will be hippos and blue. Do you know why?" "No, why?" "Because hippos spend their time in water so they go with blue..." "Oh I get it!" I jumped in, "and rhinos stab people with their big horn, and blood gushes out...so they're red, right!?" Pause...smile...nod, "Yah, pretty much, and elephants eat plants, so they go with green." 4:00 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos

Our Christmas Guest

Our Christmas Guest Current mood: content Category: Life Can I tell you how much I despise the Santa Clause movies staring Tim Allen (even though we loved him as "Tim the Toolman Taylor," the Shaggy Dog, and more)? Yes, that's the movie Kim took us to see while she was in town, The Escape Clause. In case you haven't seen the trilogy, let me explain. Each one of them deals with divorce, remarriage, and falling in and out of love. If you read my last blog, you will understand how that just doesn't fit into my understanding of life, family, happiness, love and so on. My kids and I have this little game we play with the movies we watch. After the movie, we like to see how many lines we can quote from it. We laugh and recreate scenes, but when we left the Santa Clause III, there was an awkward silence. Well, there was a lot of that this weekend. It's been a year since we've seen Kim. What do you say to someone who occupies a place in your heart that cannot be removed or replaced (I'm speaking for the kids and myself) when they choose not to give back? Yes, I flirted with her a bit, and she flirted back, but the communication gap was enormous. At one point we were alone in the car with the kids inside getting ready for bed. I'm thinking, what a perfect opportunity for a heart-to-heart, and she jumps me with a lecture about how upset she was about Kendra saying that people say bad things about her. Neither one of us knew who or what Kendra was talking about, but evidently I'm suppose to confront these people and defend Kim's honor. I was speechless (well, there was a lot of things I wanted to say, but I chose not to). Kim had a talk with Kendra later about it, and the only person Kendra named was her sister. Knowing the kids and past Christmas tradition, I explained to Kim that I was expecting to open presents at 6:00AM. She wanted to come over a little earlier so the presents she brought could be under the tree when the kids came down. As it turned out, the kids slept in a surprising 45min and came down with the typical Christmas morning excitement. We gathered in the living room, the kids sat down and there was again the awkward silence. It was almost 7:00, and Kim wasn't there. She drove all the way from KY two days earlier to spend Christmas with us, and we opened presents without her. She showed up later around 11:30. The next day we were planning to have breakfast together at Krispy Cream (that's a real treat for my kids) and do some more shopping. At around 9:45 I decided to skip the donuts and go on without her. She eventually caught up with us after lunch. I'm learning and growing through all this. I have become a student of myself and others. I think we all should study why we do what we do and question if they are the right actions based on the right emotions and motivators. There where so many mixed emotions filling this weekend, so many things I wanted to say and hear, but didn't. I've experienced pushy love before and I know how annoying it is to be chased when you've made it clear that you're not interested. Kim is now engaged to a doctor in KY, and I'll admit that within me there was a since of hope, urgency, and excitement about her visit. She may be remarried before we see her again. This might have been my last chance to win her back. I used to live on hope. Hope that she was just going through a rebellious faze; hope that she will have some great, humbling conversion and come back; hope we would both mature to a point where we could define and admit our mistakes and put our family back together again. I still have hope, but I realized Sunday night that it's no longer my life's motivation. I'm okay; my kids are okay, and they are going to turn out just fine. 11:24 PM - 7 Comments - 7 Kudos

Love

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Love Category: Romance and Relationships There are very few subjects on which I feel qualified to speak with authority, but although I am still quite a student in the matter, I have reached some firm conclusions that I feel I should clear up for anyone who might not understand my thoughts. Love is not something that can be lost. When you love someone you are not self-seeking, you keep no records of wrongs, you always protect, always hope, always persevere. True love never fails. That is not the dream of love that is the definition (see I Corinthians 13). I love my wife, and I don't want to be with anyone else. My love is for better or for worse. No matter what she does, I will always love her. Even if I am "biblically justified" to divorce her, I will always love her. I will boldly strive to love my wife as Christ loved the church. He gave his life for us before we showed any love in return, and so following His example, I have given my life to her without anything expected in return. Do I love because I have to? Yes and No. It depends on how one defines "have to." I am commanded to love my wife, but a loving heart is compelled by two things: choice (conscience) and feelings (emotion). You must have both to have true love. There comes a point when you are so deeply connected to someone that, yes, you "have to" love them because they are a part of you. They complete you and give you purpose and definition. Do I pass judgment on others who remarry after a divorce? No, I understand the desire for companionship, but I have studied my heart for years, and I simply must listen to and follow my own understanding of love and forgiveness. 8:32 PM - 8 Comments - 6 Kudos