Friday, April 25, 2008

Pillars of salt stop running

I'm in such a fog. I usually have a mental priority list, a plan of action, a reason to stay busy, but lately --I just feel --unmotivated. Should I pack? Should I work on the house? Should I work on homework? Should I visit with friends? Should I go to bed and hope it makes better sense in the morning?

A treasured friend asked me last night what I'm running from. I didn't expect that, and I didn't know how to answer, but nor did I dismiss it. I have some insightful friends, and they often see my shortfalls before I do.

IF I am running, perhaps it's from routine, or from pointlessness, or from materialism, or from conformity, or from temptation, or from worldly responsibilities, or from my heritage, or from the fear of regret.

On the other hand, perhaps, instead of from something, I am running to it. It could be to confront my past, or to find God's will, or to a greater purpose, or to protect my kids, or to help my parents, or to have an adventure, or to prepare for the mission God has for me.

Could it be all the above, and --is that wrong? --Maybe it will make sense in the morning.

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